so I'm late in posting this time. The outlook from my window is grey and wet and having sat a while I'm now chilly enough to put the heating on but I'll refrain.
Our son completed his last horse riding session a week ago Monday and as a result has had two weeks in lessons full time. The complications continue and with it my frame of mind. I appreciate they say when you have kids it doesn't come with a manual but when there are other issues adding to the mix you end up feeling completely incompetent at dealing with what presents itself. Lump that together with teaching staff that don't seem to have any experience of Autism or any other issues and it makes for a tennis match where i am the ball. Looking back you do wonder how you are supposed to be doing what's best for your child when the idea of putting a label on him is so frowned upon, we were once told that, he'll carry it into his next school and into a job in later life, so the alternatives is that we don't recognise there might be an issue and he doesn't finish school due to the issues it presents and then can't get a job!
Autism, assuming that is what is happening here is such a complex thing. Like each of us the issues that come up for each person vary, even understanding those issues takes time, and to seperate something that might just be part of a persons personality from being an underlying trate is even harder never mind if their a teenager with raging hormones etc. So being aware of personal space has been a big issue for as long as i remember, when our son was young and in nursery he would hug other children and possibly certain teachers, personally i thought this was sweet. Now as an almost teen having close contact is not something everyone is happy with, infact quite the opposite, even i have frowned on occasions over who our son would hug. In the process of going about his lessons our son is known to stop and chat, poke, prod or other chosen words other children, even kick and try an hit others, apparently not always for any obvious reason, or so I'm led to believe. I do not wear any rose tinted glasses so please don't get me wrong when i doubt these things it's just that i am not there so all i know is what i hear. School dont' wish to segregate him from his peers for example when i suggested he not sit through an hour long assembly and fidget, talk, etc but instead, as a consequence for his actions he has sat in detentions, red room, IIU and spent three weeks in re-focus to allow him time away and allow them time to make observations and give him tools to help him, hmmmm
So the feedback since going back into lessons is that nothing has changed, so i asked did you really expect anything to change, the same stuff happens in the same environment how is that gonna change.
So the latest strategy is to seat him on his own, for his safety and that of others. That doesn't make him stand out from the class does it, make him look like a special case.
I've sat and cried this morning and questioned my own state of mind. Like the glass half full/half empty. My husband worries that our son will stay living with us perhaps beyond what we all assume, he worries that he may not get a job etc and he is a fixer, i hate feeling helpless. My fix atm would be to remove him from school, take him out of the equation and away from the things that contribute to whatever is going on with him whether that be AS/ ADHD/PDA or all of those. We love him, he is our child and we will always look out for him but schools job is to educate him and that is maybe something they need too, or is that a step too far?
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