Good morning,
Well sitting here in his half light with the grey damp skies I'm not sure how good it is but time will tell. Anyone who's been here before knows that i used to blog on a regular basis but like many things over time the quiet (lack of comments, visitors) makes you wonder if you're simply talking to yourself. So you may wonder why i have started a new blog, well i thought it seemed like a project for me and it allows me to share my thoughts on things that you may or may not be aware of which may or may not be interesting from a distance or close up if you know what i mean.
So for those that don't know me i am in my late forties, married with one child and four step children. Our son is 12 and has been going through a fustrating time at home and school, school being the biggest issue out of the two. I only work very part time although i love to be creative and would love the opportunity to put that interest to a more productive use, seems silly that i write, poetry and short stories, crochet, knit, make cards you name it really but don't even enjoy much time doing those things lately due to other stuff going on and sometimes think i would love to share that interest with others, all in good time she says optimistically.
So back to our son. For those with kids do you remember that day when you had to take your child to school was it emotional for you? I remember being heartbroken for weeks and weeks knowing that time was coming and thinking what on earth am i going to do, my life since you were born has been all about you and now i won't have that and i have to trust that those I'm leaving you with (even on a part time basis) will look out for you in the same way i have, yeah right, i was right to be concerned after all, no one will look after your child like you will.
So now in High School and after almost two schools worth of 'stuff' we are looking to have our son assessed for ADHD. For some time now i have wondered if this was at the bottom of all the problems he was having at school but for some reason it seemed that that solution, from schools point of view was to just keep looking at the issues rather than looking for why and then dealing with it. Lack of focus, fidgeting, personal space, talking alot, inappropriate use of words/language, 'fights' etc were all problems we dealt with during his time at primary school. Dealing with it involved constant phone calls home to me to tell me what he had done and what i was going to do about it or in their case do about it. As a mum this makes you feel like you must be doing something wrong, why is he doing this, why doesn't he realise he shouldn't do that, why won't he listen, do as he's told, get on with his work.................
In some instances he was doing well, reading, writing, good use of his imagination and words, loved to dance, popular but over time things changed. On starting High School we were informed he had the reading age of an 8yr old. I had messaged several people at school to point out the fact that our son would choose books that i could tell just from looking at them he wouldn't read, large books with subject matter that he was attracted to, vampires, zombies, that type of thing. I suggested that someone help him choose books that he could pick up and read that were shorter and easier to get through but I'm not sure anyone took any notice. If he doesn't focus well then reading is a no no, even i have to find a quiet space and hope my mind will quiet so i can focus, how is he supposed to do that in school. He is struggling with more lessons than i can keep up with, if it's not the lesson it's the teachers or other children. This week has been a prime example of how difficult it is, he's been away from school for over a week poorly and still there is friction with other children who find our son an 'easy' target for drama. Thankfully our son lacks no confidence when sticking up for himself but every day i worry encase something happens and so am constantly emailing school to express my concerns.
On the plus side we now have someone 'helping' us by way of the assistant Senco who recently took over our 'case'. She is communicating on a regular basis and has put things in place to help him with his day at school. He has a card that allows him to excuse himself if he starts getting fustrated, she has emailed his teachers with 'stratergies' for assisting him (i don't know what they are) they are taking him horse riding once a week now which i think will be good for him as he spent some time working with horses a few years ago and maybe it will help. These are only small things and I'm sure there are things that will help more but these tip bits are encouraging when you've been working with detentions, red room and IIU and exclusions at his previous school.
It's hard work being a parent, keeping a watch out for problems, trying to discuss situations that arise at school for the umpteenth time, listening to blow by blow accounts of i did this and they did that and and and
I feel like i need to explain to others why stuff happens, why our son says and does as he does but until someone actually confirms that ADHD is the reason you don't plus as we have discussed recently some of what happens is a 'choice' as is the norm with children i get the benefit of more language use and behavioural stuff than my husband so it's not all about 'i can't help it' so then you wonder if you're barking up completely the wrong tree.
So that's where we're at, fighting the good fight and hoping for a positive outcome, one that means our son leaves school equipped for life and jobs and all that comes with being a 'grown up'.
Have a good day :)
